If I die before I wake

Each morning when I wake up, I consciously and mindfully breathe the prana in deeply, I gently place my feet onto Mother Earth and give her a little massage with each step, I stretch my body using sun salutations and smile in gratitude and appreciation for yet another day of life on Earth. I am never certain I will get another opportunity to rise the next day, since inevitably one day I am going to die. All beings eventually shed their mortal bodies, their memories, abilities, thoughts, feelings, knowledge, leaving their earthly achievements behind them and dissolve in eternity. Never in history has there been a sentient behind whose life did not end with death. People try many methods to prevent death from occurring, but it is impossible. No medicine can cure us of death.

Although I have many dreams for the future [Including more travel, learning and growing, and eventually settling down near the sea or tucked away in a lush forest setting, building my own earthen home with an art and music studio, creating a food garden, keeping bees and chickens, and falling asleep in the hammock hanging from my verandah under the stars and waking up to fresh, crisp mornings; and even one day, being a wife and mother. Yet, this is all still a dream. And tomorrow is uncertain.

I have been spending the last week with a Buddhist monk, he was actually the inspiration for this blog post since I have been talking to him a lot about death and the afterlife. I have had many questions for him, for instance, I often wonder why people fear death. What is there to fear? If you are connected to the hara, which is your center between body and soul, then the fear of death is extinguished. And if you are always living in the now and refraining from committing negative actions, then you will have no accumulated negative karma. There will be no worries. Pi Nan, the monk, told me yesterday that people who are afraid of death are carrying around a gigantic ego, they believe they are greater than the Universal energy. At the end of the day, we are all One, we are just made up of the Earth's elements and when we die those elements are returned to Earth. And people who beg to go somewhere after death, i.e. heaven, then those people are greedy in this desire. Pi Nan told me people who just accept death and are at peace with it and not worried about what happens after, live a much better life on Earth and possibly the afterlife.

With that said, if I die today, it would be ok. I would want my family and friends to know that my life up till this exact moment has been nothing but magic and filled with so much love. And, the only wish I would leave behind for my family would be to keep traveling for me. Each year, make it a point to pick another country on the map and go. Take time off work and GO. And dont just say you will go there next year, actually go and immerse yourself in the beauty, culture, and eat delicious, exotic foods. Oh, and please cremate me and take me with you! Spread me in all the different countries you go to and places that make you smile and feel at peace in your heart. Traveling has changed my life and I want everyone I know to experience that same change--That same rush I get every time I step my foot on land I have yet to see and explore.

culture shock or not?

some highlights, favorite things about SE Asia &/or even little reminders that I am here...

-Spending more than $5 (150BHT) is expensive
-Tiger balm cures all.
-I can leave my backpack somewhere for hours, and just have hope that it is there when I return.
-You must take your shoes off to enter every building (and then I usually forget to put them back on when I leave)
-Taking a warm shower is a luxury.
-I can say please and thank you in several languages, but when it comes time to use it, I mix up which country and language to use.
-Most of what I eat is a mystery.
-Sunblock and bug spray have become the most vital items on this trip.
-Nothing I purchase is done without negotiation.

-Getting excited when the tiolet supplies toilet paper.

-A cockroach runs across the table while eating, I shrug and continue eating.
-A fly is floating in my soup, i pick it out, and continue eating.
-In one day, I can take a bus, ferry, train and plane.
-The excitement of knowing tomorrow I will be in a different country.
-The tour guide who treks the entire mountain in flip flops, all while smoking his cigarette.
-The small shrines on every corner, outside every noodle shop and on every dash board.

ahhh, how i love this continent. its people, culture & food.

My future career(s).

The final week is here and I am anxiously writing my final paper; however my mind is all over the place, so I figured I would take the time to ‘release’ in my blog. I have discovered in the past couple of years that the best way for me to ‘vent’ is through the following: making art & crafts, exercise-swimming, running & cycling, meditation and lastly, WRITING. If I am feeling overwhelmed, just through the act of writing and just letting my mind flow freely, even if it consists of grammatical errors and is incomprehensible, it allows my scattered, ambiguous mind to settle. On some occasions, I write simply about the moment I am in and other times I write about daydreams and created goals for myself, whether on a weekly basis or life basis. In addition, sometimes-creating checklists for myself are helpful as well.

For this blog, I have decided to answer the question that I have been asked over and over this past month, which is… ‘What do you plan on doing with your newly received master’s degree…” Although the question is expected, I still become rather uneasy when answering it. People always want to hear that I am doing something BIG within my recently mastered field, yet for me that is not the case. I love art and especially, modern & contemporary art history. When a passionate lecturer presents new information on artist’s philosophies and significance (especially modern artist) I cannot help but yearn to know more and more and more. I love the field and particularly love when other people are just as passionate about it and teach me everything they know. I want to be THAT person. I want to be a lecturer. Most people do not realize this about me, until they join me in an exhibition at one of the local museums/galleries. I always feel it necessary to share all the information I know about each piece for other’s to fully appreciate what is directly in front of them. Some people enjoy museum visits with me and not having to read any of the plaques because I can usually sum up every painting on the ‘modern’ floor of the museum, others maybe don’t but I just cannot help myself sometimes. Anyways, art history is a passion of mine, I am not sure, at this time, if I will ever become a curator or some big shot art historian, but what I do know is that I would be more than happy to spend a day once a week giving talks/education at a museum, or possibly lecturing one a week at my local community college. I think it would be amazing to keep up with recent sources and information, and be able to teach what I know to others whom are eager to know more.

With that said, art history is not my only passion. I have many other things that I want to do with my life. For instance, YOGA! I love yoga, including the yoga lifestyle and philosophy. It will be a practice I participate in until the day I die. After March, I will be a certified yoga instructor. With my newly achieved certification I hope to also teach weekly yoga classes, either in a studio or gym facility. However, I am actually hoping to be in a gym facility for many reasons. First, I know a lot of people that want to incorporate yoga into their exercise routine but the inconvenience of having to go to a separate facility can sometimes cause a damper on that, time wise and financial wise. Also, others that may have never tried yoga will be more willing to hop right into a class that is about to begin. ‘Why not?..’ Might be there thinking. In addition, if I teach at a gym, then I may also benefit and receive a free gym pass; Also, I would love to teach other aerobic classes such as spin, zumba and water aerobics. I have worked in a gym before and do have experience creating personalized workout and meal plans. I would like to include fitness and yoga into my ‘career’.

Furthermore, I do have a few other passions, which I would like to include in my ‘career’ path, which are in the fields of healing and human rights. I will begin by explaining my ideas for healing; I would like to work with children in the field of art therapy and creating. I love self-expression and being able to heal wounds using creativity. I would really love to learn more about the field of psychology and child development, coinciding with art therapy. I am hoping to further my education in this field once I return to the states next year. Hopefully with that, I will be able to begin my own practice or find work within the field. Also, I will be a reiki master by the end of this year and be able to heal within my own private practice.

Lastly, human rights; I truly believe that all human beings on planet earth have the right to: education-especially children, all should have the right to seek, receive and impart information and ideas without fear or interference. Human beings deserve the right to live with dignity: NO ONE should be denied their rights to adequate housing, food, water, sanitation, education and health care. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. We live on a very resource-dense planet with ample amounts of food and water; in addition, daily advancements are being made in technology, Therefore, there are no excuses. I would like to invest my life in helping to make this possible. I am fully aware that planet Earth is gigantic and there is no way that I can make a huge impact, but even if I am able to be a small asset, even within my own town- that would be satisfying enough. If I can help one family go from homeless and starving to safe and healthy, I will do that. I would like to apply to work for habitat for humanity, or other programs striving to promote basic human rights.

The above information is extensive and is not coinciding necessarily, hence why I am hesitant to address the question, ‘what are you doing with your degree..?’ I often sum it up with, ‘well, I would like to be an educator, artist, healer and activist, but also a world traveler—and maybe even a wife and mother one day.’ People must think I am foolish, but give me ten years and I have no doubts that my life wont be exactly as I have just written it out to be.

You asked: I respond (with this blog)--Going Veggie?

Once a week, I receive a message from a friend, or a friend of a friend, asking me questions about my vegan diet, typically it starts with… ‘I have been thinking about going vegetarian, but not sure where to begin, could you please send me some information..’ and although this message makes me gleam, and I take heaps of pride in my response, I feel as though I am always repeating the same message over and over again, so I have decided to write this blog post in order to respond all at once, and next time I receive that message, I can just forward this entry (feel free to also send it to friends).

Alrighty, I will begin with the basics. Vegetarianism is the practice of following a plant-based diet with the inclusion of dairy products and/or eggs.

However, veganism (which I am) encompasses a diet free from all animal-products. I do, however, eat honey (and that is a whole different point-which I will happily answer if you are wondering why I choose to support honey).

I also attempt to eat a mostly raw diet, which makes up 50% of my diet. I eat uncooked fruits, veggies—or just cooked slightly.

Buddhist vegetarians do not eat onion or garlic & macrobiotic diets consist mostly of whole grains and beans (which I actually do not recommend).

A compliment that I receive quite frequently is that ‘I look healthy for a vegan.’ Of course I look healthy is my response. I have lower levels of cholesterol and lower blood pressure. My chances of heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis, and Alzheimer’s disease (which is mad cow disease in humans) are much lower than most meat eaters.

With that said, If I am not fully aware of the foods I consume than none of the above would be true. It is easy and very possible to be an unhealthy vegetarian/vegan, or what I like to call ‘a junk food vegetarian.’

Which includes vegetarians that eat pasta, bread, chips & fries as meals. This makes me incredibly sad. Where is the protein? Where are the vegetables? Or the healthy fats? Of course, you aren’t going to look well OR feel well. Many people tell me, I tried to go vegetarian once, but I was always hungry, low on energy, and never felt well. And then when I ask what they ate, they tell me they just cut out all the meat, but what about substitutions? What about supplements (if you are not sure you are getting it from food)? –which leads to b12—you must take a supplement for this vitamin, its most difficult to achieve adequate amounts from a plant-based diet. And food combination is very important:

Food combinations in protein sources:

(There are 23 different types of amino acids that our bodies need- in order to do everything from forming skin, organs, blood cells, and the immune system, to creating hormone neurotransmitters.)

Many protein sources are incomplete, but with the correct food combination can be complete, however, there are some food sources that are complete (all on their own)

And these include:

-Quinoa: some consider it a grain, however it is actually a seed. But I eat quinoa in substitution for rice. It is easier to digest (gluten-free) and has a nutty flavor. I actually prefer to cook it than let it cool and eat it at room temperature.

-Lupin, soy, hempseed, chia seed, amaranth, & buckwheat are all complete.

I add chia seed to almost everything I eat. It’s so small, and in my opinion, does not have much taste, that I do not even notice it is there. And amaranth is sooo good with fresh fruit salad.

-Avocado: I eat avocado almost everyday. Somedays, more than once. But it is high in fat, so if I eat more than half an avo in a day, then I make sure to cut back on all my other fat sources throughout the day. Avocado is soooo good for digestion.

-Miso: another good for digestion food—fermented foods all are. One day, I will eat a diet which is mostly fermented, once I am more settled and have the time to make all my own miso, kombucha, kimchi, and so on.

-Coconut: I WISH I had a coconut tree. I could live off coconut milk.

-Beetroot: my favorite as a juice AND grated up in salads. Heaps of antioxidants & makes your liver HAPPY.

Food Combos: (to create complete protein)

grains with legumes i.e. almond butter & grainy bread, rice & beans, tofu & rice/pasta

grains with nuts & seeds i.e. grainy bread w/sesame seeds, rice w/sesame seeds

legumes with nuts & seeds i.e. hummus (chickpeas & tahini) or trail mix (nuts w/seeds)

If you eat dairy and egg products than you are receiving complete proteins.

However, I would highly recommend cutting out dairy and only eating free-range eggs if you must.—you can message me for more information on going vegan.

Other worries as a vegetarian are: iron, calcium, fatty acids, and vitamin D (but no need to worry, all can be found in foods--i have listed some below).

Iron—black beans, lentils, oatmeal, raisins, black-eyed peas, soybeans, chick peas, tomato juice, whole-wheat breads, cashews, hempseed, kidney beans, tempeh, molasses and thyme.

Calcium—leafy greens, ie. collard greens, kale, spinach, bok choy, etc., tempeh and tofu (soy).

Fatty Acids—soy, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, hempseed, kiwi, and my favorites: AVOCADO, flaxseed (oil), chia seeds, algae (seaweed)—and spirulina.

Vitamin D- THE SUN!!! soy milk & mushrooms.

I do not support ‘Gardenburger’ or any of those ‘fake meats’ --I did when I first became a vegetarian, but once I started reading labels and learned that there were more added (unknown) ingredient than actual veggies, I stopped and started making my own veggie burgers out of beans, seeds and vegetables. I make heaps all at once, and then freeze them for easy eats. Also, it is not necessary, but I try to avoid gluten as much as possible and eat Ezekiel breads and spelt pasta, and QUINOA. Yum.

Overall, in my (self-educated health knowledge) I highly recommend (common sense) drinking lots of water and EXERCISE. Spend at least twenty minutes in the sun a day, and smile often. Try your best to eat organic and raw as often as possible. Also, eat LOCAL & if possible, grow all your own fruits & veggies (at least your own herbs).

Also, include these (ancient)SUPERFOODS into your diet (even if you aren’t veggie)!

-Blue green algae/spirulina/wheat grass/kelp/dulse/alfalfa

-Acai & gogi

-Chia seeds

-Maca/raw cacao/dark chocolate

-Bee pollen

-Green tea

-Quinoa, rice bran

-Ginger, turmeric, cinnamon, cayenne & aloe

Well, I hope this information above helps, and although I might have sound annoyed in wanting to create this blog, I truly do not mind the questions. I will happily answer each and every one of them. Health is very important to me, not only for myself but also for others. Also, I am no one trained/educated in any of the above information. It is all very subjective & my own opinion, so if you do not agree with any of it, that is fine as well. =)

First (Rough Draft) Itinerary: next 6 months

it is all coming together, these are all my DREAM locations for the next several months. (i dont have enough time for burma or laos, but those are also on the dream list... i am definetely open for suggestions/spontaneousness--already talking to a girl that lives on an island off phuket, she lives in a treehouse && originally from san diego--she has offered me a place with her, sounds too amazing.. I CAN NOT WAIT! i fly into kuala lumpur--then train to krabi, thailand. from there i will explore thailand for 60 days (my visa allowance), then cambodia, vietnam, singapore, 30 days in nepal (visa restrictions), followed by India (40 days) then back to new zealand and australia for graduation. i leave sydney in 1 week & 5 days to begin my adventures!

20NovKUALA LUMPUR—21Nov (60 days)KRABI: Koh Lanta Island

PHUKET(islands): kho phi phi (2weeks exploring islands)

à Surat Thani

Ko Samui Islands

Surat ThaniàKoh Phangan (Reiki) 2 weeks 5Dec-16Dec

Ko Taoà

Chumphonà Hua Hin, Nakon PathomàBangkok

Bangkokà Ayutthaya, Lopburi, Phitsanulok, Lamphunà day in each

Chaing Mai 23 Dec (one week)

CHAING RAI 29 Dec (one week)

Mae Hong Son: Pai 6Jan (one week)

OVERNIGHT TRAIN

Train back to Bangkok 16 Jan

Bangkokà 18JanAranayaprathet/Poiphet, Cambodia 19 Jan

Siem Reap (Angkor Wat) 20 Jan

Phnom Penh 23 Jan

Saigon, Vietnam 26 Jan

Muong Man, Nha Trang, Dieu Tri, Quang Ngai, HOI AN, DANANG, HUE(perfume river), dong hoi, vinh, HANOI --one week to make way to Hanoi

Flight to Singapore 2/3Feb

Singapore to India/Nepal 6Feb

Nepal 30 days, India 40 days (30 days-yoga)

India 6-14 Aprilà New Zealand/Australia

the greatest response [of all time]

in response to telling my cousin how stressed i am about uni finals, here is what he had to say:

[i must say, it is the highlight of my week]

"couldnt imagine being in school....but think of all the beauty and bliss around you! While others are stuck in there 9 to 5's listening to boring American accents. You are in a world of its own, a tiny Island of English prisoners who named themselves Australians and starting talking different. A place where drinking is always important, as well as the beach and sex! Attractive people wander in flocks like the Antelope in the Savannah! No time is a bad time except for the worst times. you will be fine my dear, know that you could be in small town Mississippi smoking dope and working in a coffee shack. But you have excelled your mind, body and soul to a better place. you are doing this for you and flipping the rest of the world the bird. There isnt a person you know that would not be in your shoes happily, "unless they are those Pumas you got from Italy that are still in my closet cause I cant get rid of them". Study in peace my young lion cub, for one day. You will be on the hunt with the pack wishing you were just a seedling again, who have not sprouted...Be free and be easy...As only you can be!! (but not easy sexually)"

your cousin like a brother
ET

we are just a spec in time

If I AM just a spec in time, then these next 2 weeks are basically non-existent, which for me, at this moment, is daunting. I am doing my best to not become overwhelmed, but I am right on the edge. I have three major papers to write. The one I am currently writing is on Suprematism and The Black Square, although I am fascinated by the topic, I am struggling to fully wrap my head around the concepts. I am getting there, but it’s challenging on a philosophical level. The next is on film & the music industry. I choose the topic for this paper and I am looking forward to its subject matter, however not sure where to start and what my argument will be; and lastly, the art market in the 18^th century—this one, I am not looking forward to. It is really difficult to find information on the art market at this time, since majority of work was commissioned by the elite, and not just the everyday man, but I am just going to have to dig deep, since I have no choice, and have to write the paper. Well, that is it for Uni, however my personal life is just as full. There are many things I want to accomplish before leaving Sydney; first, I need to continue to work in order to save the money I need for my future adventures. I work Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. I asked to work more hours the next two weeks, so that should get interesting since I have many events coming up: acupuncture appointments, graduation pictures, dubstep night, spirit fest, drum circle/meditation night, noodles in Hyde park, gong night, and multiple paintings and my art journal which I need to complete within the next few days. All while attempting to sell & give away most of the things I own and pack for my journey and enjoy the beautiful summer weather we are having in Coogee at the moment. Oh yeah, and not forgetting to breathe as well. I know in three weeks time when I am sitting on the beach in Byron Bay doing absolutely nothing, I will just look back and laugh, but at this present moment I am at boiling point.

This Months Forecast

This is it--It’s game time! I have approached my last full month of Sydney, Uni and work; my last full month to complete everything I have come to Australia for. I have final assessments due and the closing to another chapter in my life and the beginning of another one.

In the last year, as most know, I have become increasingly more interested in astrology. I have studied the sun, moon and ascending signs and have practiced my knowledge of them on all the new people I have come to meet this year. To my surprise, it is quite remarkable how similar most are to their ‘sign.’ I have found that certain signs play out their description perfectly with the people I meet. For instance, Pisces have characteristics that I just adore-they are spontaneous and have a worry-free demeanor, they are accepting, compassionate, and will go out of their way for a friend. I love Pisces, yet I find their carefree attitude just a bit too carefree. And then there are cancer- my favorite of all. They are always dependable, and I always know I can count on a cancer to be there for me when I need them the most. Super compassionate and always positive. If I had a choice, I would make sure to marry a cancer, I think they would make the best life partner. And then there is the Gemini, I tend to be attracted to Gemini men, something about their charm, wittiness, and adventurous nature that I am just drawn to, yet Gemini men always tend to be the master of persuasion. I have to work extra hard not to let this charm influence me because I know it won’t end well. Overall, (and please no one take this personally or offensively) Aries and Sagittarius are a bit too intense for me ALL THE TIME; Libras, Aquarius, and Taurus are a bit too unreliable; Virgos play follow the leader; Capricorns don’t know how to take risks; I admire Leo’s confidence, but it can also be taken too far; and then the Scorpio—a bit too complicated. And Yes, I am a Scorpio, and yes I relate to many of the characteristics as well. Scorpios are so unstable and unforgiving. I am aware that the last several sentences may sound a bit negative, nevertheless, I do find it exceptionally interesting that people are so unique and each posses many differences. Even though Aries and Sagittarius are intense, they are the best to party with and are ever so generous; Libras, Aquarius, and Taurus are always so peaceful and grateful; Virgos always have a logical answer, they think logic not emotion, which is so helpful because my emotions seem to get the best of me majority of the time; Capricorns are drama-free; and Leos are the most loyal, caring, honest friends. They are there when you need them and extremely forgiving, and respect everyone’s differences. In general, I love all the people I have met this year and am grateful that the Universe has placed each and every one of them in my path. My year here in Australia would be insignificant without all of them.

At this point, I am going to explore what to expect this upcoming month, given that tomorrow is the first day of October. From viewing the sun and moon chart, we all should be expecting several things: Firstly, this will be a time period wherein many of us will become more clear regarding our personal needs within the context of our relationships, and be given ample opportunity to express them. If you are excited about changing the way you do things (making a living, relate to a partner, maintain health, etc.) and are open to experimenting and reaching outside your safety zone into the unfamiliar, then this will be a great month. This month as Venus, Mercury, and then the Sun move through Scorpio we are being asked to create and master new ways of “co-fulfilling” ourselves, that is to totally be there for another without giving ourselves away. There will be a need to confront and repeatedly put yourself out there –it is life testing your resolve, integrity, and maturity-continue to deal with it and don’t give up. By the end of the month with the new Moon and Venus square Mars the energy can become progressively explosive. The rising energy can contribute to amazing experiences of ultimate union.

This month I have to keep in mind that the only constant is change and the Universe is completely and utterly supporting me in ways I cannot even imagine and every experience I am having, including all the bumps in the road, are all strategically placed there for a reason, they all serve to awaken and stimulate rather than bother and irritate. I look forward to the journey that lies ahead of me and hope you all do as well.

Eleven months later

It's slightly strange to think that I have been out of the United States for close to a year now. I had wanted to get out of the country for good for a very long time. There were so many things that made me unhappy about the United States, however, now being gone for so long, I am able to have a better 'outsiders' position, and although there still are many things that upset about the politics, there are heaps of things i truly miss (and cannot live without forever):

- The most obvious: my brother, family & friends---

[I miss seeing my brother on a daily basis, I miss our lunch dates, I miss sing a-longs in the car with him, I miss macbook photo shoots, I miss late-night chats and him forcing me to watch something funny on either: comedy central or youtube, I miss being able to vent to him and cooking him dinners.

I miss my dad and his silliness. I miss beach bike rides with him & breakfast at coco's. I even miss his cleanliness--and obsession with washing my clothes for me, my car and my dirty feet, hehe.

My mom--I miss coming home to her asleep on the couch and telling her to go to bed and her telling me she was just resting her eyes--then coming back 2 hours later and her telling me the same story again. I miss my mom's cooking (especially her cornbread) and conversations with her. I miss her trying to convince me to go with her to the latest Jackson "event," and I miss her silliness as well.

Aunts, Uncles, Cousins---I miss family get-togethers!!

Friends--I miss going out or staying in--I miss lunch dates, going to shows & random roadtrips!!]

-My own ‘real’ big bed, instead of my blow-up mattress-- I miss a big comfy bed with lots of pillows and a big warm blanket

-Spontaneous trips to New Orleans

-High noon café’s vegan: Caesar dressing, beet burger & carrot cake--daily lunches!!

-Soup & Salad (all-you-can-eat) Restaurants: i.e. Souplantation & Jasons Deli

-Extremely large coffees & free refills (drip coffee)-- I have not had drip coffee in forever!

-Burritos! & Chips & salsa, corn tortillas (Mexican food, in general)

-Black beans

-Bananas and berries

-Unlimited broadband Internet

-Music stations: Pandora, last fm, etc.

-Knowing which way to look when crossing the road-- I always think I am gonna get hit since pedestrians do not come first in this country.

-Insulated homes/buildings--i am so tired of being cold

-Low priced everything: housing, food, etc.---this country is soooo expensive

-Silk Almond milk

-Good tasting drinkable tap water

-Z’s instead of ‘s & no extra u’s in color & favorite

-Not having to spell my last name: g-o-n-ZED-ale-ZED

-Boys who hold doors open for ladies-- it just doesnt exist here.

alienation from contemporary society

its official: i miss my dreads. let the dreading process begin [again].

the real reason i am going back to asia

some of you might think i am going back to asia in order to learn more, experience, sightsee, grow spiritually... but the real reason is the food (hehe): panang curry, green & red curry, tom yum soup, chili basil stir fry, pad thai, seaweed soup, rice paper rolls, tofu kaprow, glass noodles, jungle curry, black sticky rice w/mango, fresh juices, kombucha, fresh coconut (straight from the tree), green papaya salad, green tea, jasmine rice, watercress fi dang, spicy black bean eggplant, hot & sour soup, tofu satay, fat rice noodles, lemon grass noodle soup, green mango salad..... ohhhhh my goodness, i cannot wait!

bucketlist.

i have written several bucket lists in my lifetime, but recently my roommate laura has inspired me to take a look back at my old lists, check off the things i have accomplish [surprisingly, i have accomplished almost everything on my last list: visit the sistine chapel, teach english in foreign country, masters degree, climb the rock of gibraltar, scuba dive the great barrier reef, build a cob house... just to name a few] && i have created a new one--all the things i want to accomplish before turning thirty [november 18, 2015]. i have four years & a few weeks to check off the following dreams:

-Absolutely 100% loving my body/appearance: release negative emotions and limiting beliefs

-Visit the White House

-Brew my own beer

-Become a wine connoisseur

-Disney World (Florida)

-Alaska

-Fly first class

-Find a red pogo stick (like the one I had as a kid)

-Maine & Vermont: Route 100 in the autumn

-Canada (Road trip from West Coast to East Coast)

-Spend a year backpacking from Central to South America

-Carnival in Rio

-try DMT (just once)

-Eat Kiwi in New Zealand

-Cruise from Patagonia to Antarctica

-Become fluent in Spanish

-Visit Jerusalem

-Become a Reiki Master

-Spend a New Year’s Eve in Time Square

-Full Moon Party: Thailand

-Buy and restore a vintage VW bus

-Complete a triathlon

-Burning Man Festival

-Build/Keep a bee hive

-Start a soup kitchen

-Build a backyard adobe oven

-Teach yoga (Certification in India)

-Scandinavia & Iceland: Northern Lights

-Visit London & Barcelona

-Have a successful vegetable/fruit/herb garden

-Own happy (egg-laying) chickens

-Hulahooping: be able to bring the hoop from my ankles back up to my neck

-Motorbike license: Own a vespa

-Fall in Love

-See Bjork live

-Learn the banjo

-Design an Exhibition (for a well-known museum)

-Work for Habitat for Humanity

-Skydive w/Laura

-Sneak into Cuba

-Jamaica (& Islands) for the Summer

-Finish paperwork for EU Passport

-Go to a raw food party hosted by David Wolfe

-Have a one year lease on an apartment: somewhere near the sea.

Well, there is the list folks. I will post an updated list every so often till everything is checked off. Looking forward to experiencing every single one of these.

another divine saturday in ashley's life

As Saturday comes to an end, I have to smile. This WAS the perfect Saturday. Everything I love all crammed into one beautiful day: happiness, reggae, sunshine, green papaya salad, gymtime, neem mask, fresh coconut & dark chocolate.

Well, to be completely honest, it did not start out perfect. My alarm went off at seven and usually I am up before my alarm & if not, I am able to get right up & ready to start my day. This morning though, was a bit different- I woke up grumpy as. I had spent the prior two nights working on a big project and by the time I went to bed Friday night I was too exhausted to even sleep. I tossed & turned, and finally after falling asleep was woken up by a text message from my boss asking me to come in earlier Saturday morning. I usually start at 9, but she wanted me there by 8. I struggled to fall back asleep and when the alarm went off at 7, I was simply angry that it was waking me up when I was not ready. Anyways, I ate some rice porridge with dates & granola & washed it all down with an herbal chai, and made my way to work. On my stroll to work, I told myself to snap out of it. Everything was going to be ok, I would just have a long black when I got to work and I would be off by 2, so I could survive this shift. The shift went extremely well, I had convinced myself to be happy (and it worked) nothing at work was bothering me. My boss was freaking out (as usual) and I just smiled & continued doing my work. I got off at 2, went home—took a lovely nap in the yard, woke up to my reggae music streaming from my speakers, the trees swaying in the wind above me, and the sun shining vibrantly onto my skin. I felt nothing but happiness. I went to the gym & got my 3 mile run in, then thai dinner with laura—green papaya salad, yum!! Came home, took a hot shower & put a neem mask on & cracked open my coconut—goosh I love fresh coconut, I like to pour the liquid into a wine glass, it just makes it even that more enjoyable. And now, I am eating a piece of dark chocolate & writing in my blog. This day turned out to be incredible. Positive thinking, I swear it works wonders—If only more people did it daily, we would all be wondering around the streets blissed out of our minds.

life @ Oneness

I have been living in Coogee for over 6 weeks now-- I feel absolutely lucky to live so close to the sea & especially to work even closer to it. When I first applied at Oneness, I already had a job lined up at a vegan wholefood restaurant in the city, I was thrilled to start at Iku, but after wondering into Oneness (for a soy dandelion latte) & speaking with the owner of the place, I felt it was a better fit for me since it was all about Oneness and so close to home. We spoke for a bit and she asked if I had a resume & if I could start that weekend--I was stoked as!

My first shift was a busy Saturday--it was intense! I felt as if I had been dropped into a swimming pool without knowing how to swim. I had no knowledge of the menu, or how Australian cafes worked. I just went with it though, thankful that I had a job. It only took me a few more shifts to feel comfortable with the menu & the overall business. However, also within that time I discovered that the owner was not always the friendliest person in the world. She owns a business that is suppose to encourage Oneness, the idea that we are all One--We are not separate from anything or anyone in the Universe. It's quite a beautiful concept & one that I fully embrace. The place is blissed out with buddhas and inspirational cards, free natural health magazines, etc. We have the best organic coffee & teas on Earth as well. Actually, everything in the place I love--the decor & the customers, the food!! the coffee! & my co-workers are soooooooo beautiful. Yet, there is one person that changes the energy of the place--and that is the owner. She is rude, unfriendly, materialistic, fake, & so on. She makes me feel so uncomfortable on a daily basis. I actually have to meditate before & after work in order to make it through a shift. At first thought, I just wanted to quit. But I knew that was the incorrect thing to do. I could not just give up that easy. I knew this was just another lesson to be learned, I could survive one unfriendly person. I decided to make a list of the reasons why she was so angry all the time, first she is barely making a profit, if not just breaking even. The business has only been open for a year now, and things are still growing and changing all the time. She has had bad luck with employees, so now she trusts no one. She works every single day, without any breaks and once again does not trust anyone enough to take a day off from the store. She is overworked and underpaid. Yet, I still do not think these are valid reasons to be rude to your co-workers. I have decided to take a different approach to this uncomfortable situation. I will just send her daily love and light. I will do my best to be positive every shift and to start and leave just as positive. It is difficult though when every other person I works with despises her as well, and when she puts you down every hour on the hour. In spite of this, the sun, mercury and venus are moving through the sign of virgo, this is the perfect time to renew, rejuvenate and strengthen our individual ability to remain calm, centered, and in a personal space of gratitude and appreciation. These feelings, when cultivated and practiced on a regular, daily basis, will create an opening in our heart space, a lifting of our spirit awareness & a counter with the negativity I am experiencing in the workplace. I AM strong enough for this, I CAN make a difference (just by keeping positive) & I WILL survive this. This job is important to me-it pays the bills, allows me to enjoy extra little things for myself & helps me save travel money; Along with learning and challenging my ego. I only have a few more weeks then I am off to Asia, it's such a short time in the long span of life. Once again, I really am lucky to be living and working at the beach, all while eating beautiful foods & drinking lovely coffees.

Each one of them is Jesus in disguise

What is going to save the human race?

Please.
 Thank you.

Three words that will totally change this planet. 
More than solar power. More than recycling. More than wind energy.

Why?

Because if we all started treating the people and things that we interact with every day with respect and compassion, the effects would ripple through every aspect of our lives, transforming society.

Our parents taught us the manners “rule-sets” that we use every day, and as a result, we feel that we have (through years of introspection) begun walking the path towards enlightenment. Our manners dictate the way we treat the external world, the Environment. We feel that it is primarily our manners that dictate our success as humans.

Folks talk about wanting to save the “Environment”, and that conjures up images of bubbling brooks and unspoiled forests. But “the Environment” isn’t just greenery and pretty scenery. It’s our slums, our airports, our houses, our supermarkets.
The Environment is everything that disappears when you close your eyes.

If you want to improve it, you must begin with what you see and encounter every single day of your life.

Before we can set about elevating our present society from a carbon-based one to a solar-electric one, knowing full well that solar-electric decentralized power means a higher quality of life for all, we must first pause and ask ourselves: Why? What is worth saving?

Human Consciousness.

Our gift and curse as humans is our incredible consciousness. We are aware, and that is the greatest and worst thing we’ve got going for us. Because we can clearly see how well we could be living, how politely we could be treating one another, how incredible life could be; we feel it is our duty to delight and inform our fellow humans in the hopes of creating a better world.

There is no reason every human on Earth could not have access to:


Clean Water


Nutritious Un-modified Food


Shelter


Education


Open Source Communication


Freedom from Oppression and Fascism

But, as is painfully obvious, most humans don’t have those things. 
Most humans don’t have two of the six!

They could, but they don’t.

Why?

Bad Manners.

Nearly every religion this planet has yet produced has as one of its tenets the idea that to be happy, you must treat others as you yourself would hope to be treated.
 A failure in this respect is simply bad form.

When a company decides to dump its waste into a river that others downstream use for drinking water, that is bad manners.

When a society chooses to isolate its citizenry in prisons and not offer any chance at rehabilitation, that is bad manners.

When a person decides to walk into a school and open fire on their classmates, that is extremely bad manners.

That is why we MUST START NOW.

All new generations must be schooled in the art of good manners if we are to survive, let alone flourish, as a species.

Try your hardest to treat others as you hope they would treat you, and actively look for ways to help the people around you. Do this from a pure place within you and watch the effects ripple outward!

Why?

Because so few are doing it.

Good manners make you stand out like a struck match in a dark room.

Three Essentials:

Make eye contact with anyone you interact with. Smiling is optional but highly encouraged.
 Use the words “Please” and “Thank You” as often as you can.
 Seek out ways to improve the lives of others. This can be as small as carrying someones bag up a flight of stairs, or holding a door open.

Do these three things and your life will change immeasurably. And you will begin to change the lives of those who come into contact with you in a measurable and positive way.

ashley DOES have a fear.

ashley+dating=unattainable

what is wrong with me?

a boy shows interest & i run away (& never look back).

i have just been made aware of my fear-- of dating!?! & commitment.

if someone shows any interest at all (even the tiniest bit) i avoid them at every cost possible. what the heck? i need to figure out why i am so afraid.

i slightly think it's my free spirit at the moment & knowing that if i start to fall for someone it wont end so nicely, just knowing that i am on the quest of spirituality & finding myself at the moment, and someone else would just get in the way of this (to say it bluntly). ugh, maybe i just need to take the risk & get over this fear.

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans

Its been a few months since I wrote in my blog, so I felt it was time. I keep a personal journal which I write in every other day or so, but I am terrible at remembering to update this blog. But since I am doing everything possible to avoid writing a paper for uni, now is the perfect time.

I never realized how much I do not like commitment until I am committed to something && then I remember once again how much I cannot be tied down. For example, Uni. uhhhhhhh, i absolutely love it, i really do, but geeez it takes up so much time && i am so eager to travel again. I really need to remind myself every day that this is it. This will be the only time I get a master's degree in art history in Sydney, Australia ever, so I need to really make the most of it. Enjoy every moment, because it is actually almost over, and the next 8 weeks are going to fly by! I can already feel it. So with that, my job--Oneness, will be over soon as well. I only planned to work there during Uni and then by the last week of October I will quit and be on my way. I really do love living in Coogee though, best decision I could have made for my last couple months living in Australia (wow, now I am being reminded that these are my last couple months). ahhhh, i am such a girl & can not make up my mind about moving on or staying.

Well, I have come up with a very rough itinerary for the next several months (its subject to change) but it is all things I would really love to accomplish before my return to the states next year.

From now till Nov 4th-- I will continue to enjoy the days: working at Oneness, hulahooping group, working out & yoga, Uni, eating healthy & living at the beach.

Nov 5-6th- Buddhist festival in Melbourne

November--job position in Melbourne at a holistic vegan resort (With daily vegan/nutrition cooking courses--that I will be in charge of).

Dec 4-Reiki Master course in ChaingMai, Thailand, followed by a month long internship in a hospital.

Jan 7-Yoga teacher certification/ayurvedic studies in Dehli, India for one month

Feb- Environmental program in Kathmandu, Nepal for 3-4 weeks

March--I really want to experience: Laos, Vietnam & Cambodia (but I am just not sure about time), Also would like to spend a month in New Zealand, with a stop over in Fiji.

April--back to Australia for graduation ceremony/visit & meet Belinda & Owen's baby.

May--Hawaii/California

June-New Orleans/Jackson

So much to do, so little time!

I know what I want, its just fitting it all in & making the most of it.

ahhh, I love my life. I am so blessed.

I will try my best to update the blog more often...

the future is so bright that i need my shades.

Is it better to have too many options or none at all?

Well in my case, I have too many options, and not sure which direction to go in. So I am leaving it up to the Universe to lead me in the correct path. The Universe has been oh so good to me thus far, so I will continue to let life enfold in front of my eyes. I do have to put some effort in though in order to see results. This Summer (or Australia’s Winter) I am going to spend it up at the Reef working and applying to all my choices:

[Not in any particular order]

#1—AmeriCorps: If I apply to AmeriCorps there are a number of different job fields I can pursue: working with homeless, environmental jobs, working with abused/ill children, and so on, the possibilities are endless. Also, I can apply anywhere in the entire United States (which is a difficult decision in itself). I am thinking Oregon, Mississippi, or Louisiana. Not quite sure yet.

#2—Start another master’s degree/or doctor’s degree in Latin America. I am going to apply to Rotary in order to work on another degree abroad. I do not mind which country I end up in, I just want to earn a second degree in Spanish language/culture.

#3—Teach For America: If I teach for America I am choosing between Jackson, New Orleans, or somewhere East Coast. This will be a 2-year commitment, and after completion I will be certified to continue teaching. I want to teach HS Art.

#4—Teach English in Spain: I have the opportunity to be a teacher’s assistant in Granada, Spain for one year. I will get paid quite well for easy work abroad.

#5—MOMA internship: I would LOVE to work at the Museum of Modern Art in New York for the year. The internship is M-F 930-530 at the museum, I would be paid $1800 a month for living expenses. If I got this I would be ecstatic.

HEAPS of options! I will apply to all—and then go from there.

Most of these jobs begin in Autumn 2012. Which gives me ample time for travel before hand. I graduate at the end of November; the rough plan for now is New Zealand for 2 months picking fruit, then Fiji—from there head over to Brazil for Carnival (also hoping to make it back to Sydney for graduation ceremony in Feb), then Brazil in March—South America: Venezuela and Colombia (for sure), work my way up North to Central America (Costa Rica, Nica, Belize, Honduras, Guatemala for sure) finish location New Orleans—then Jackson by June. Start work end of summer.

AHHHHH!! Can’t wait to start all the applications. The rest of this year, and next year are going to be oohh, so exciting. Can’t wait.

goals, dreams, ambitions

I made it! I am here in Sydney, Australia (already one month into my masters program)!

It feels like just yesterday I was applying to the uni, and then opening my acceptance letter while in Mexico last summer. I felt like it was decades away from being reality, but now as I sit in my Newtown house in Sydney with my whole new life right in front of me, I know now this is reality. Over the past month I have lived every minute in the now, but after booking a flight to Melbourne and then Tasmania I now have the future on my mind. Time is passing so quickly, I feel it is necessary to get some of the things I want to do in order.

I have decided to create a rough timeline of this next 12 months ahead of me just to get my mind in order.

The next 4 weeks: research research & more research--multiple presentations/assignments due. Also, gym at least 6 days a week-getting back in shape!

Then I have a one week Easter break which I will spend in melbourne/tasmania- Laura, Tamara, and I will be renting a car in Tasmania to road trip and camp.

As soon as I return to Sydney I only have 4 more weeks to finish all my final projects, then semester 1 is complete.

Winter Break--I will have 6-8 weeks, which I plan on spending half in Fiji, and the other half in New Zealand with Belinda and Owen.

When I return the last week of July I will have to find a new place to live, and begin semester 2. I will have lectures on Monday, Wed, and Friday. I am hoping to get a job this semester. I will be all finished with semester 2 by the first week of November. At that point, I am hoping to head up north towards Brisbane. I would like to spend the rest of 2011 in Brisbane and a few weeks diving the great barrier reef. I then plan on returning to Los Angeles by mid-January. I only want to spend a week or so visiting family and friends, then I would like to head down to Central America for 3 months—I would like to perfect my Spanish, becoming yoga teacher certified, and also contribute at least one month at an eco-village in Guatemala. I will fly from there at the end of March into Jackson, Mississippi—I have my job interview around that time. Then start teacher training by the end of May. I am really looking forward to becoming a HS Art teacher. I think it will be lots of fun—I am still a bit undecided about whether I will teach in New Orleans or Jackson-that decision is up to my brother. I will go wherever he goes. I have learned while away that he is my rock and I function best when near him. At that point, I will be settled and committed to a career job—which I never actually thought would happen to me. I will be a month away from the age 27 when I begin teaching—I think I will be content and ready. At that point, everything I have wanted to accomplish will have happened. And, if another great idea pops in my head, I still have the summers off for travel and vacation! Yipppppie! Life is enfolding beautifully right in front of my eyes.