Times are a changin'...

Over the past several years, just the idea of settling seemed odd to me. Often, people would ask me if traveling ever got ‘old’ and if I ever desired a permanent residency. My response was always the same… ‘No way! Traveling is far too much fun!’ Yet, I am approaching a crossroad in my life... do I continue down the path I am on or take a break for a while? (Just stay put, in other words).

Nevertheless, I am flying to Guatemala early next week, my itinerary is quite full, but I am very excited to visit the following places: Guatemala City, Antigua, Lake Atitlan, Tikal (Flores), and then continuing North to Mexico. I hope to visit: Chichen Itza, Palenque, Cristobal de Las Casas, Oaxaca, Mazunte (Agama Yoga) and Toluca. I am going to fly to Texas from Mexico on the 17^th of October, then spend a few days in Austin, then Houston, then New Orleans and lastly, Jackson, MS. And then this is it for a while. This is my final journey for the year.

I am ready to be settled. And what better place to do that then Boulder, Colorado. My hopes are to be all moved in by my 27^th birthday. I never thought I would say this, but I am ready to have my own apartment with my own kitchen that I can paint teal green and prepare meals in. I am ready to have my own bathroom and living room filled with potted plants and lots of natural light. I am ready to collect kitchen appliances, furniture and make new friends in a new location. I am ready to dedicate myself to a job, my art and music and to really be part of a community. I am ready for my own address and more responsibility.

Numerous other things have been coming to the front of my mind, things I have been questioning for a while. [My apologizes in advance for the sporadic nature of the list below with brief description. But it helps to formulate lists in order to get my head straight]. On the forefront:

1) Career choices: I love being a barista, I love teaching yoga, I like making art, that is what I will continue doing till further notice. 2) The United States is not that bad. 3) I never want to own a car-- I love riding my bike. (for multiple reasons) 4) It is ok to have an alcoholic beverage with friends occasionally (it’s all about moderation). 5) Just because I am settling doesn’t mean I will never travel again—I still have a list of countries/places I want to visit before I die. 6) Continue to boycott corporations. 7) Although I like big, baggy boy clothing—I also really love being girlie. I love dressing up, wearing accessories, painting my nails, wearing makeup, and glitter—I love glitter. And all of that is ok. 8) I don’t like shaving, so why do I shave? CONDITIONING. Break the chains. 9) Don’t obsess about meditation & spirituality, don’t be overly hard on yourself, just continue to stay mindful, present and positive. 10) Continue to learn something new daily—for instance, teach yourself the banjo (since you have wanted to learn for years and years). Yah, it’s time!

There is something special about turning age twenty-seven that just triggered a new desire to be settled. Hmm, this is going to be just as much an adventure as all my other journeys have been. I am looking forward to the next several months of life.

a new leaf

In the past 5 days, I have learned more about myself than I have in the past 5 months. It is utterly incredible how happy my soul is when it is set free. I have smiled so much this week that my cheeks ache (and it’s a good ache).                  

The story in a nutshell—I arrived back in the USA this past April. I spent a few months in California and a few in Mississippi. By the time I made it to Mississippi I was already planning my next adventure out of the country. And since I had no idea what was next I jumped on the first opportunity presented to me without even thoroughly thinking it through first. Once things were booked, I chose not to question them, and to just flow with it. It was not until a week before leaving for Peru that I started questioning my intentions (why I was going back to Peru and why I so desperately wanted to work with shamans and Ayahuasca). I began to realize that I was depending so greatly on these medicine plants to ‘save me.’ Furthermore, I also realized that I do not even have to leave my own country to participate in more ceremonies if that is what I truly desired.  Nevertheless, when the time came to fly to Peru I was thrilled and ready for my next adventure! Yet, the Universe decided it was undeniably not the right time, and did not let me board that flight (due to new policies about flying on a one-way ticket).  I stood in the Fort Lauderdale airport in all smiles and asked the counter worker.. ‘Ok, then where next..?’ She smiled, and replied, ‘I have a flight to Denver in 30 minutes, and there is room on the flight?’ I responded, ‘well, looks like I am going to Denver!’ And that was it! I was in Denver by midnight.                                                                     

The human race is really quite amazing. I have met numerous beautiful, like-minded people in the last week. It’s like the Universe is just leading me directly to people that are going to help make my life easier and teach me something new. Denver won my heart over with the help of the people that habituate the space and the energy radiating off the mountain peaks. [Just incredible.] And then there is Salt Lake City (where I currently am)—wow, so amazing. Same story, different town.

Anyhow, being outside of Mississippi—outside of my comfort zone, I found that I could finally breathe again. I was drowning there, yet I did not notice until I was saved. I was forcing myself to be happy, I was uninspired, unmotivated—definitely not myself. Now I am feeling happy, inspired, motivated and so on. I can look from the outside at myself and realize what was happening to me this summer. I became lost. I was shaving my legs-and for other people, not being creative, lazy with exercise and practicing yoga daily. I even disliked going to work. Why? Why was this happening to me? I struggled a bit trying to understand certain things about myself, like whether drinking alcohol was ok for me and whether wearing a little makeup was such a bad thing? Driving a car, rather than riding my bike made me feel extremely guilty. Not taking time for myself to read the new book I just bought, or to learn something new. I was lost but luckily for a very short period of time, and now I am back! I found myself again, and realized that it is ok to enjoy a glass of wine, or a have a beer with my friends. It is ok to be a girl and enjoy wearing mascara. Make-up can be so much fun! Yet, there is a balance with both these things. Drink in enjoyment, and have a limit. Wear make up for fun and to embrace being a woman, yet don’t wear makeup to hide behind. And always make time for book reading and journal writing and canvas painting. These are things that keep me focused and happy. I am not going to dwell on the past, and be sad about my summer of lethargy. I think it was just the down time I needed, and I am super stoked about everything that lies ahead of me. I am going to continue to travel for the next few months and then I am settling down—yes, that is right! Settling down! And you’ll never guess where..? BOULDER, COLORADO! I cannot wait to make it my next home. And when I say settle down, it doesn’t mean the traveling will stop, just means that I will have a little more responsibility-aint nothin’ wrong with that. =)