suicide: phasing out

I believe we have all made the cognizant and deliberate decision to come to Earth for various reasons: some may want to learn, experience, appreciate, understand and empathize; some for karmic reasons, and others are here as Light workers, guides and healers. We are all here for a reason; some may know their purpose, while others search their entire lives for reason. Conversely, I believe that we can leave here at any time we would like as well. Some leave via ‘accidents,’ others leave at ‘old’ age, and others deliberately phase out (commit suicide).

Over the past week I have considering death. I believe a gateway has opened up, an exit way for me to leave if I choose to.  It has been forceful to say the least, as if death is yearning for me. I have been trying to comprehend it, but cannot wrap my head around it. I am not a depressed person; I am not even an unhappy person. I am quite content and enjoying life. Yet, why do I have such a strong desire to leave? I have been dreaming of ‘going home’ every night. I have woken up every morning with different options of how I should do this—how I should leave without emotionally hurting anyone (or maybe it is their lesson to let go of my physical being).

I know why I am here on Earth, I know I am a Light worker—this is my purpose. And, I have been doing this all my life, since birth. I know my life till this exact moment has been very meaningful and purposeful, yet recently I have been feeling like I no longer enjoy these human emotions—I am exhausted watching human beings hurt one another, I am exhausted by hate, greed and selfishness. I am trying so hard to keep shining my light, but the negativity is suffocating me. Maybe I should just leave now while I am ahead, maybe my purpose is expired. I want to go home. Or is there more? Shall I stay a bit longer and find out? Or am I just being selfish and taking the easy way out?