happiness.

happiness is not an easy task. its definitely something that needs to be worked at, but completely worth every battle that you may come across while following your bliss. i am happy. but not as happy as i know i can be. but oddly, im not really sure what it is that will make me happier. 

take that back, yes i do.

i want the boy i love to want to move up to oregon, get a little house, get part time jobs, and in our spare time just make arts & crafts from home, spend hours baking, just being completely happy and in love. im not sure if that is completely a dream that cant be obtained, or if it is possible?  seems easy enough. but really it is a challenge because the boy i love is content where he is & i dont want to go back to southern california. i dont want to deal with being unhappy all the time because of all the people (the angry, aggressive people), & the people that dont care about the planet, dont care about their health. no one in so cal has time to slow down and actually enjoy life. people work so many hours a day at a job they hate that by the time they fight traffic and make it home there is no time for arts and crafts, no time to just enjoy each others company. people are miserable. i dont want to go back to that lifestyle, but i will if i have to just to be with the boy i love. i just wish that he would take the chance and escape while he can. he might actually find that he is much happier that way. hmm..

time for rapid eye movement.

good night.